Tuesday, March 5, 2013

How is Michelle

Hi folks.  This is Jill, Michelle’s sister, guest writing on her blog today.  We know that everyone is hoping for an update on how Michelle is.  The answer is that right now, she’s struggling.  She’s currently living in a perfect storm of issues – still recovering from the radiation, the sinus problems, the negative impact on her liver from the long disruption in her chemo and the recent resumption of her chemotherapy.  She feels sick all over, and it has taken a drastic toll on her spirit. 

As terrible as all this is and sounds, we do not have any reason to believe this is “it.”  In fact, just the opposite.  Since she responded to the chemo so well in the past, we expect it to start working on helping her liver.  Once that happens, the nausea should lessen significantly.  Also, she is scheduled for a procedure at the end of March that will fix the sinus issues.  Between these two things and the extra useful rest they will provide her, we hope that within the next several weeks she’ll be feeling like herself again. 

She, however, is miserable now, and she has lost hope.  It’s not hard to understand this.  I’m inconsolable when I’m nauseated for an hour; I can’t comprehend how she’s been able to manage this long. 

In supporting her, I’ve been walking the line between focusing on the optimism we justifiably feel and being honest about her predicament.  I’m positive around her without blowing smoke, which she sees right through.  I know it hurts and scares her to see so much fear in the people who love her.  My approach has been to take care of the things that she needs taken care of, encourage her to take small steps that might make her feel better, like a shower and a change of clothes or movement around and hopefully outside of the house.  I try as hard as I can to make her laugh.  

As her sister, I need to say how incredibly grateful I am to all of the people who love Michelle and are supporting her in any way through this.  She’s a special person, which is why she has such a large circle of loved ones.  I’m looking forward to better times when the pain has subsided enough for her to regain her focus on all the wonderful people in her life.   

1 comment:

Hugh said...

Thanks for the update, Jill.

Everybody wants to know how she's doing, but of course they only want to hear the positive, uplifting things... how she's a fighter, how she's charging through, how great her progress is. But the tough parts are hard to talk about and harder for people to hear, and I'm sure that creates profound loneliness. She's is so lucky to have you by her side, helping with both the good and bad, and handling duties like this when she doesn't feel up to it, or doesn't want the burden of saying things out loud.

You guys are both heroes in my book. They always say to keep your chin up, but that's not always possible, and there's no shame in letting in droop. Heartfelt honesty requires more bravery than shallow bravery.