Maybe Next Time I'll Win the Lottery

As far as anyone can tell, I do not have cancer. I had some abnormal cells in the mole, oddly, so I'll head to a dermatologist in December, but otherwise I'm as good as new, I guess.

I realize I wasn't supposed to worry about those biopsies, but I was terrified about the lumpy thing on my breast that turned out to be scar tissue. Czerniecki always freaks me out, and when he came in to give the results he looked like a deer caught in headlights. Nancy, the NP, saw my eyes bug out and quickly announced she had good news. I later mentioned to her that I had been looking at Czerniecki's expression, and her response was, "How could you tell anything by that? Do his expressions change?" Well. No, not really. But Nancy wasn't the one on the verge of panic to start. They left the room so I could change, and I needed to do something dramatic. I knelt on the floor and raised my arms to the ceiling and thanked G-d, and then of course Czerniecki walked back in and I was completely embarrassed.

After I left the office, something remarkable happened. I had a good day. No, a great day! I felt so good, so light. Nice little things kept happening that whole day, I even made most of the traffic lights. I planned some interesting plans, visited Barb, made Allison happy, bought lottery tickets ... it was the nicest day I'd had since the Phillies parade last year. It was good, and it's lasting! My whole attitude feels different. For example, now I'm glad I'm subbing for the time being. I still work everyday that I don't have a doctor's appointment, but when each day is over I feel good, go home, rest and there's no residual stress from the day. I love meeting all of the different children and getting to know them a bit. I love asking them certain questions and hearing their interesting opinions. This lack of stress has to be good for me. Everyone insisted things happen for a reason, and it seems this is where I belong for right now.

Oh, appointments. I also had my follow-up with Dr. Komarnicky last week. It lasted 5 minutes, because all is well. All is well.