rough times

I'm starting to wonder if I'll never want to look at this blog again once it's done.

I wrote on Thursday, right? Thursday night sucked. I developed diarrhea, and horrible stomach cramps, so instead of taking the sleeping pill (would've been a bad idea under the circustances), I was up all night. Yesterday I felt so sick all day, but the evening was the worst. My friend brought this yummy dinner, and I just looked at it and cried. By last night I had a mini-pharmacy by my bedside. I've never needed many meds, and I'm making up for it now. Lots of OTC stuff: Immodium, Advil, Phazyme, plus the anxiety meds, the anti-nausea script and the sleeping pills. Crazy. And I don't know if one is offsetting the other, or what.

But today I awoke feeling a bit better. All I needed this morning was the anti-nausea. I was still unhappy, so I just sat in bed. And sat. And sat. And sat. (Have you ever read Once Upon a Potty? I was just like Josh/Prudence.) I tried to go to Target this morning while Jason was at services, but I couldn't fathom walking around the whole store. So I left without getting out of the car. Back at home, I sat again. Finally (hours later) it occurred to me that I could probably walk, and the air was really good today (about 50 degrees and calm). So I walked to Barb's house, where Ken and Jonah were celebrating Tommy's birthday at his party! It was nice to get there. As much as I need to write odes to my hair, Barb deserves them, too. And of course she put together a beautiful party. So I feel a bit better. I had my old walking music playing on my iPod, and I did something good for me (Barb lives just shy of a mile from here). If I walk everyday, maybe I can build myself up better before the next treatment and have a less hellish experience.

Sorry, no dog or driving adventures today. But: I've posting on this awesome message board for breast cancer patients starting chemo this month. The ones who started in the first days of the month are now losing/chopping off their hair, and they look so fantastic. One had really long blond hair, but not much of a style to it. The short short cut made her blue eyes twinkle and showed off her cheekbones. Another woman has sons, and she let them cut her hair. They gave her a mohawk, then put "piercings" through her nose and eyebrows. She's a 40something-year-old accountant! Unfortunately there are way too many women on that board, but they're from all over the world. Do you know that in Australia you can get a foot massage with your chemo treatments?