So what's next: Well, I have to train for that 8K race Jill is making me do in November. I have to figure out what to do with this blog. I have to get ready for Jason's bar mitzvah, and Lori and Dave's WEDDING! I still have to get a job. I have to get my emotions in check and keep my weight down while taking Tamoxifen. Most of all, I have to focus on my kids, all starting new educational journeys. Allison goes off to high school in a month, Jason to a new school, and Jonah to first grade. I don't know where I want to be when it comes to cancer.
I sort of want to forget this whole past year happened (last night was a year since my baseline mammogram showed a problem). All along I thought I'd want to embrace the whole survivor mentality, become involved and vigilant, etc. Now I realize I was just so immersed in breast cancer I couldn't envision a future that didn't involve it. And in some cases it's true. I'm physically scarred, and probably emotionally as well. I don't know if I want to remain involved in breast cancer other than doing a walk here and there. However, if you know someone who is diagnosed and is scared, this blog will be available to read, whether I continue to write in it or not. And you can give out my phone number or email address to anyone who needs guidance from a survivor.
On Monday I went out without anything covering my head but my baby soft, very short hair. What a freaking relief. So here is my picture, taken this morning (not yesterday), by Jason! A nice change to not have to do it myself. I didn't post last week's picture, because the week got away from me with the STEP shows and visits and other stuff. There's certainly a big difference in two weeks.
