As terrible as all this is and sounds, we do not have any
reason to believe this is “it.” In fact,
just the opposite. Since she responded
to the chemo so well in the past, we expect it to start working on helping her
liver. Once that happens, the nausea
should lessen significantly. Also, she
is scheduled for a procedure at the end of March that will fix the sinus
issues. Between these two things and the
extra useful rest they will provide her, we hope that within the next several
weeks she’ll be feeling like herself again.
She, however, is miserable now, and she has lost hope. It’s not hard to understand this. I’m inconsolable when I’m nauseated for an
hour; I can’t comprehend how she’s been able to manage this long.
In supporting her, I’ve been walking the line between focusing
on the optimism we justifiably feel and being honest about her predicament. I’m positive around her without blowing smoke,
which she sees right through. I know it hurts
and scares her to see so much fear in the people who love her. My approach has been to take care of the things
that she needs taken care of, encourage her to take small steps that might make
her feel better, like a shower and a change of clothes or movement around and hopefully
outside of the house. I try as hard as I
can to make her laugh.
As her sister, I need to say how incredibly grateful I am to
all of the people who love Michelle and
are supporting her in any way through this. She’s a special person, which is why she has such
a large circle of loved ones. I’m looking
forward to better times when the pain has subsided enough for her to regain her
focus on all the wonderful people in her life.
1 comment:
Thanks for the update, Jill.
Everybody wants to know how she's doing, but of course they only want to hear the positive, uplifting things... how she's a fighter, how she's charging through, how great her progress is. But the tough parts are hard to talk about and harder for people to hear, and I'm sure that creates profound loneliness. She's is so lucky to have you by her side, helping with both the good and bad, and handling duties like this when she doesn't feel up to it, or doesn't want the burden of saying things out loud.
You guys are both heroes in my book. They always say to keep your chin up, but that's not always possible, and there's no shame in letting in droop. Heartfelt honesty requires more bravery than shallow bravery.
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