Not feeling well

I've felt sick much of today. Is it chemo? Am I coming down with something? How can I tell the difference? I woke up with a headache, and then nausea set in. I can't taste food again ... terrific. Complaint warning: I'm so tired of feeling sick and tired. That sounds familiar, I might've said it before or used it as a facebook status update. Or maybe I just think it all the time. I refuse to take a nausea pill on day 18 out of chemo. I have no reference for this. I'm guessing it's unrelated to chemo, but of course anything that happens ends up related to chemo. Any little cut on my hand that ends up red and inflamed, chemo. Any other sort of infection, chemo. Do I sound weary and annoyed?

Last night was Allison's band concert. She was at her friend Simona's, and 30 minutes before she had to be at school I called and asked if she wanted to go. Duh. I raced out of the house to get her, then stopped at the market, then ran into the house for just a second before driving her to school. Unfortunately, I didn't realize I was headed to the school when I initially went to get her, so I ended up at Harrington wearing a hat. Just a hat. I hate when that happens. Ken brought me a buff when he came (as requested, I didn't want him wandering around holding my wig), but I still wished I had my wig. I've developed my own little rules for what needs to be on my head and when, and to sit in the Harrington auditorium, that's a definite wig occasion. Subbing: wig. Market: any sort of head covering. A walk: a hat. I don't know, maybe it's silly, but it's how I've adapted. After the concert, a woman approached and said she used to wear her hair like mine. I was so confused for a moment, before realizing she is a cancer survivor. It turns out she is also the other trombonist's mom, so we ended up chatting for awhile. It made me feel a lot better about being there without my wig. I wouldn't have gotten into that conversation if I'd been wearing it. If you've had cancer, feel free to approach me in a store and start talking! Apparently I find it soothing. I guess it's just because you're still standing there, alive. Not that I spend all my time worrying about death these days. I don't. Honestly. The thought creeps in occasionally, but I think everyone has that thought now and then. My death fears are just more specific. I do fear ever having to go through chemo again. I'll do anything to avoid that (even eat shiitake mushrooms).

Allison had no idea her friend's mom had been through this. I hope she'll talk to him about it sometime. Also, I should add that my daughter plays a mean trombone. She's quite a musician. You should hear her piano playing. You probably won't (she's shy about it), but you should!

Jason was sitting here when I started this post, and he wants me to mention that it's really funny to do The Barber of Seville on my head.