Amazing

It's amazing how perception can change so quickly. This afternoon I realized I WILL start growing hair again soon, and therefore I will actually have hair, and have to care for it. The thought made me weepy with joy, as I imagined having enough to pull through my big round brush, and to tuck behind my ears. It's only been two months since the day I cut and bagged it, and already it's hard to imagine it was ever there, like it was some long past dream. I know I'm in a transition now, and though it's obviously a good one, it's a slow-going adjustment for my state of mind.

The last three days have been hell, but I'm coming out of it now. I ate a whole dinner, and I've been awake since about noon. I'm still having significant body temperature problems (feet are ice cold, head and neck perpetually sweating), but I am getting relief from the cold wash cloth on the top of my head. I look ridiculous, which is saying something, but I'm just sitting upstairs in my room.

Anyway, it's not yet time to sum up anything. I still have more of the same freaky side effects to endure. Most of my tastebuds will return in a week or so, and then I'll have to consider my diet very carefully (between my nutritionist friend and the fact that I gained five pounds, there's much to consider). And then maybe I'll have some idea of how I feel. Right now it's all raw emotion, not making much sense.

A shout out to my boys, Jason and Jonah. Jason sits with me and tells me stories, and rubs my back. Just when it seems completely unbearable, he helps me bear it. Jonah brings me card after card with cut-out hearts and sentiments like "i hop you fill beter," and then plays a personalized rendition of "You Are My Sunshine" on his one-string guitar. You have to see the earnest emotion in Jonah's eyes, because there's no describing it. Two good boys!